We are going to get married by a registrar. We have decided to have the ceremony at the venue rather than in the registry office. That saves everyone the trip to the venue plus we would rather look at the beautiful mountains than registry office walls.
We are aware that this way we will miss all the excitement of walking down the aisle like in a traditional church wedding but we’re sure there’s going to be plenty of exciting moments that day anyway. In addition, that way we will make sure Tomasz will not faint in front of the altar from stress ;)
Expectations of the best man at a Polish wedding are different to those at a British affair. There're no rings to handover, eliminating the limitless opportunities for humor usually found at a British wedding, as the rings are placed on the table before the whole shabang. Usually there is only one best man and one bride’s maid. Best man and the maid of honor are also witnesses. Later on there are some duties that a Polish best man undertakes but there is no daunting speech to make.
Usually on exiting the church the happy couple are traditionally showered with handfuls of loose change, rather than the British tradition of confetti or rice. This is not an opportunity for a Life of Brian type stoning - small coins are gently tossed in the air in the couples general direction, not hurled at them full pelt. The married couple is then expected to pick it all up. Although, we are not getting married in a church you are more than welcome to uphold this tradition. Bear in mind we are going to get married on a willow – picking up coins from the grass might become a mission impossible :)
Following the wedding the guests line up to pay their respects to the couple and wish them all the best for future - three kisses on the cheek and flowers for the bride, a handshake and an envelope full of money to the groom. As Polish couples do not make a Gift List the gifts come in the form of an envelope. The bride hands her flowers to her bridesmaid and the groom hands the envelopes to the best man.
Don't worry about flowers and envelopes stuffed with cash (if you were at all). Trekking across Europe to attend our wedding is present enough. That said, we are more than happy to accept any generous donations to the honeymoon and house deposit funds :-)
After the kisses and handshakes parents of the bride and groom greet the newly married couple with bread, which is lightly sprinkled with salt, a popular Polish tradition. With the bread, parents are hoping that their children will never go hungry or be in need. With the salt, they are reminding the couple that their life may be difficult at times, and they must learn to cope with life's struggles. Also it was believed that salt has the power to heal and cleanse, uncover thieves, protect houses against fire, dispel storms and hail, and drive away evil spirits. The bride and groom each taste a piece of bread. Parents then kiss them as a sign of welcome, unity, and love.
After that everybody gets a drink of something bubbly. Usually the bride and groom also get a shot of vodka – champagne in our case. The couple must down the drink in one and toss the empty glass over their shoulder for good luck. Only we will do this, so please don't lob your glass like you're in an Essex barfight; we hope to avoid any visits to Polish A & E.
Immediately following the salt and the bread business all Polish guests will break into song. The song is known as "Sto lat" ("100 years") and is the same song you will hear sung at birthday parties. Here are the words - you're going to hear them a lot in the next few hours: (link below)
Sto lat, sto lat,
Niech żyją, żyją nam.
Sto lat, sto lat,
Niech żyją, żyją nam.
Jeszcze raz, jeszcze raz, niech żyją, zyją nam,
Niech żyją nam!
Which translates roughly into English as:
A hundred years, a hundred years,
May they live, live with us.
A hundred years, a hundred years,
May they live, live with us.
Once again, once again, may they live, live with us,
May they live with us!
There’s more to it but this is not a song-book for you to learn ;)
In addition you might hear guests singing or chanting Gorzko which means Bitter. They will not stop until the newlyweds sweeten the deal with a kiss (usually has to be a long one – they count! ) Karolina can’t wait for this one. She loves kisses. She must hope for the frog to turn into a prince or something… :D
Once the singing has died down everybody sits down to the first meal. This will be a two-course dinner, and it is advised that the British don't fill up on bread rolls; there is plenty more food to come (see below). Immediately following the first meal the newlyweds are invited to embarrass themselves horribly by performing the first dance - it is usual for the guests to hold hands and form a circle around the couple as they dance. Strangers, sweaty palms... lovely. Get used to it, that won’t be the only time :D
Do not underestimate how much food you will be piled with at a Polish wedding - it is a lot. The first dinner will be a meal of something roasted, with vegetables and potatoes and a side salad preceded by soup. You will eat this and then help yourself to the various cakes, cold meats, breads etc. scattered liberally about the table. At this point you will be completely stuffed (the portions are not small). Some time later the waiters will be bearing down on you with exactly the same thing all over again. A while after that they will be back again. By now you'll be feeling the fear - fortunately there are only three or four more courses to go, each one the size of a hearty Sunday dinner. And then cake.
Do not attempt to eat everything served to you, it will not end well. You have to regard the food as symbolic. It's a symbol of wealth and plenty, an overwhelming feast for the happy event, it's not an actual meal ;) But if you are an avid viewer of man vs food you can give it a go! There’s no picture on the wall of fame though. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
Vodka is a big deal at Polish weddings. Modern Polish weddings provide a choice of alcohol, so if you're not a vodka fan don't panic. That said, if you want to join in with the traditional stuff there's a few things you should know i.e. vodka is only drunk collectively. Shot glasses are filled, somebody proposes a toast, vodka is drunk, washed down with a glass of juice (they're not mixed) and glasses are refilled in readiness for the next toast. There's no casual solitary sipping. It's all or nothing every time. Do not be tempted to fill in the time between toasts with a beer or a glass of wine, that way lies a very messy but dimly recalled madness. PS. You drink at the expense of the bride and groom so go for it. If there’s one thing you won’t run out of at a Polish wedding – it’s vodka.
The time inbetween sitting down to eat and drinking toasts of vodka (or other alcohol of your choice) is filled by dancing. Traditionally Polish weddings have a band. Dancing is a big deal at Polish weddings - remember the last British wedding you went to? Did you think there was a lot of dancing? You were wrong. As with the food, do not underestimate how much dancing there will be. And gentlemen, the familiar British male effort of clinging to the bar for dear life while the other half prances around to ABBA is not acceptable, you're going to have to join in at some point.
It's also worth noting that throughout the reception the groom must dance with every lady present, even if for only a few seconds, and the bride with every man. Tomasz strongly disagrees with this one. “My GOD, with my two left feet. I sense a disaster”. Hopefully no one will notice how bad it is due to point 8 :D
The throwing of the bouquet has the same function at a Polish wedding, except that it takes place at the party and not outside the church. We might also opt for the Polish tradition where men try and catch the Groom's tie.
The cake is cut and distributed to the groaning overstuffed guests at midnight. No 'Carriages at Midnight' here, expect to be partying until at least 4, 5 am. Once the cake is cut the happy couple make a brief speech thanking their parents, which is of course followed by a toast.
As if the dancing wasn't enough for you, Polish weddings also involve a few games over the course of Reception. This generally involves drinking or making a fool of yourself, or both. We (the Polish) have managed to find a way to make games like musical chairs fun for adults. There’s a twist to it. So get your game faces on, neither one of us wants to lose!
P.S. all winners get a bottle of vodka out of it.
It is true that Polish weddings sometimes go on for two days. The second day is known as "poprawiny" and you're most likely to come across it at a traditional village affair. We are however opting for a one-day event. There will be a late breakfast feast the next day for every guest that manages to sober up. For those who wish to stay longer we are planning a BBQ or a bonfire in the evening.
As much as we want to plan everything, weather is one of the things we are unable to predict. We hope it’s going to be a typical Polish summer – proper scorcher of a day. We want everyone to feel comfortable so we opted for a smart casual dress code. Dear ladies, although there’s going to be a bit of a wooden dance floor we do not recommend high heels – it’s a wedding/reception on the grass after all.
If you have any questions do not hesitate to contact us
E-mail: karolinasmigowska@gmail.com
Tel: +447540188573
E-mail: tjgudra@gmail.com
Tel: +447970321874